棄酒之後 一定要看看 (joke)

Giving Up Wine
放棄葡萄美酒

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
當我正沿著街道行走的時候，我被一個看起來衣衫破舊、非常骯髒無家可歸的女遊民搭訕，她問我有沒有一兩塊錢給她吃晚餐。

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'
我取出了我的皮夾，拿出了十元然後問，如果我給你這錢，你將會用它去買葡萄酒而非晚餐嗎？

'No,I had to stop drinking ! years a go', the homeless woman told me.
不，我必須停止喝！ 很久不喝了！, 無家的女人告訴我。

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
你會用它去購物中心血拼而非買食物嗎？我問。

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'
不，我不會浪費時間血拼，無家的女人說。 我需要用所有精力在嘗試維持生活。

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
你會把它花在美容院而非食物嗎？ 我問。

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
你瘋了嗎！' 無家的女人回答。 我已經 20 年沒有做過頭髮！

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
很好，我說， 那我不要給你錢。相反地，今晚我要帶妳去，和我的丈夫一起吃晚餐。'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
無家的女人感到異常吃驚。我知道，我是骯髒的，而且我可能聞起來相當令人厭惡。你的丈夫難道不會因為這樣而對妳不滿嗎？

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'
我說，那沒關係。 重要的是讓他知道，當一個女人在她放棄購物、做頭髮和美酒之後，看起來會像什麼。

I just know you're laughing!
我就知道你會笑！